Saturday, October 04, 2014

How The Hell Did That Happen!

I'm about to turn fifty. Fifty! I've no idea how that has happened. So I've decided to compile an alternative to a bucket list. Rather than a list of things 'to do' this is list of things 'not to do' at fifty. I'm sure I can easily fill the list, so stick with me on this one...

... thanks to my friend Will for inspiring me to do this...
... and this list is in no particular order:

  1. DON'T PANIC
  2. Don't have a midlife crisis
    (I did that at 30)
  3. Don't buy a sports car when you really need a Transit van
  4. Don't stop eating tasty things that are 'bad for you'
  5. Don't start seeing my GP on a regular basis, or get on 1st name terms
  6. Don't get a tattoo
  7. Don't buy a ridiculously expensive guitar
    (my old Strat is perfectly fine, in fact it's much better than fine, it's fantastic!)
  8. Don't stop working on that album of German-inspired electronica that has taken 20 years so far and might one day actually get released, even though no-one will want to hear it
  9. Don't expect anyone to buy the album
  10. Don't give up the hunt for that 'Plexiglass' Stratocaster that Nile Rogers owns
    (it will be mine)
  11. Don't lose touch with old friends
  12. Don't become a grumpy old man
  13. Don't convert to a PC, stay true to Macs
  14. Don't forget to call my family, even if there is no reason to call
  15. Don't stop listening to new music 
  16. Don't buy a new amp, get the old one fixed instead
    (if you need to know it's a Crate Vintage Club 50 and it's terrific when it's working
  17. Don't stop trying to play 'gypsy' type jazz, even though I'm no good at it and it's really hard 
  18. Don't stop dancing to the radio in the kitchen 
  19. Don't get G.A.S
    (only the musicians will understand this one
  20. Don't take piano lessons
    (it will take away the mistakes and therefore the creativity from my awful keyboard playing
  21. Don't go on a health kick
    (I tried this before, eating dried fruit and pine nuts really didn't suit me, as for jogging, don't even get me started)
  22. Don't ever forget how important my wife is to me
    (we're not actually married, but our bond is closer than any piece of paper could make us. Oh, and she makes me a better person too
  23. Don't forget my toothbrush 
  24. Don't forget the past, but learn to let it go gracefully
  25. Don't be afraid to buy new T-shirts
    (yes the old ones are nice and baggy, but give it time and the new ones will be comfy too
  26. Don't be afraid to say "no" sometimes
  27. Don't let things that I can't control bother me
  28. Don't put if off, do it now!
  29. Don't ask for advice and then just ignore it
  30. Don't ever wear flip-flops
    (this is a general rule for all men, not just me)
  31. Don't ever use the phrase "music was better in my time"
  32. Don't don't don't believe the hype
  33. Don't give up teaching music
    (yes it's frustrating but the end results are worth it)
  34. Don't stop listening to Steeley Dan
  35. Don't grow a moustache
    (tried it during 'Movember' looked hideous)
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